The Rugby Roundtable

Kia Ora from the “lucky country”, which I can only assume is a reference to how they lucky they are to have snuck a team into the S14 semi finals.

I’ll start with a big hello to Hardus, Qball and the Stormers crew in South Africa, who attended the Lions match at Ellis Park on the weekend, brandishing two banners with messages of goodwill to the Juice. Good lads, and proof that when it comes to our SANZAR partners, the Saffas are the lesser of two evils.

For the second week in a row, I was at Suncorp Stadium to watch the Reds put in a lot of effort, do few things correctly, lose and generally be very ordinary.

It was a terrible game and it’s fair to say that the highlight was when the little motorbike that transports the kicking tee onto the field broke down, and was pushed off by one of the tah-tahs players.

After two consecutive visits to the “Red Fortress” – fortress apparently now describes a place where visitors can stroll in and take whatever they want whilst meeting with very little resistance- I can now say that the Reds fans don’t deserve any better than they’re getting.

One thing I have learned is that the criminals hate Kurtley Beale. Maybe they’re still not comfortable with having to say “sorry” to Aborigines, but most of the talk before and after the game was centred on how much the locals don’t want him in the wallabies.

Another spin-off from my time spent at Suncorp Stadium and the surrounding areas has been the chance to inspect the drinking establishments nearby. With an All Blacks match scheduled for Brisneyland on September the 13^th, this vital issue of local watering holes should be high on the list of priorities for all discerning Kiwis intent on crossing the ditch for the big Bledisloe bash-up.

My offer to you, the rugby universe, is to put not only my money but also several thousand beers where my mouth is, as I get out onto the battlefields of Bris Vegas for some serious booze reconnaissance and then report back to you with the lowdown on a different establishment each week.

But my friends, the offer does not end there. For those of you that can’t be here for Bledisloe 3 as the Blackness falls on these filthy convict bastards and many glasses are raised in celebration, I am giving you the chance to experience the joy vicariously as I let you choose where my pre and post match drinking occurs and, in doing so, give you a bloody big say in what the night will entail.

And to put the cherry on top of this interactive rugby-booze experience, the one and only Mark Stafford, bookie of the people, will be by my side. Yes, that’s right – you the listener have the opportunity to put Stafford where you want him in this unprecedented feat of democracy and podcasting as the Rugby Roundtable, in association with Juice’s Crimewatch, launches CSI: Brisbane – Crime Scene Inebriation.

First bar – “Bohemia”, Caxton St, Paddington. Located a mere 200 metres from Suncorp Stadium this brand new establishment offers much to the discerning drinker. Cans of beer and spirits are served cheap in the back bar and the relaxed attitude of the staff towards just how drunk one can get before being asked to leave is refreshing to say the least. The typical clientele are young, friendly and predominantly female which will be music to Staf’s ears. Also, there is a strippers’ pole on the dance floor which gets a fair bit of use as the night wears on. Radler is not served but the intimate atmosphere and dance floor classics favoured by the DJ make this a very easy-going and enjoyable post-match venue.